8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. 11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13 For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
It’s significant to note that in Paul’s description of a deacon’s job, his wife’s character is important too. It’s almost like Paul would regard the two people as one entity, one person, as they are serving the Lord!
Again Paul mentions the “husband of one wife” part in here. For all of the importance of service to the church, Paul recognizes the importance of the family structure. If we are all serving the Lord and building His kingdom but spitting nails at the people in our immediate household — maybe even our flesh and blood — then how are we really handling the love of Christ?
Different church cultures are going to handle this differently, of course. One time my wife mentioned that I preached at a church and the woman she was talking to said “Oh my! You’re a First Lady!” And you know my wife liked the sound of that!
So not to make any laws about it, but boy does prioritizing your home life over your Christian service make your life awesome! It flies in the face of the world and their often-separate bank accounts, hobbies, and maybe even pastimes. Paul even talked about having the right to take his wife along with him on missionary journeys (if he had one.)
It’s almost like God wants to use our here-on-earth families to show off what the family of God looks like. We can embrace the single folks and welcome them as well as the moms, the dads, the kids, and the grandpas. When you see whole-household ministry and service happen, you’re more likely to find somebody in that group that you can relate too.
I’ve had people tell me before that I shouldn’t take my kids into dangerous countries because of their safety. Everyone has to make their own decision about that, but Central Asia and Turkey turned out to be some of my kids’ most favorite memories.
And dads connect with dads differently than men connect with men. It’s true. It’s a thing. So spend some time with your whole family.
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