“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
(Rom 5:3-5 NIV)
Of course you know what I’m looking up
• Perseverance: cheerful endurance
• Character: test, trustiness, experience
• Hope: to anticipate with pleasure
wow. I told my wife yesterday that I need a revolution. I have been grumbling and mad way too much. It’s so silly.
The other day I was driving and somebody jumped out in front of me or something, and I called them an idiot. Then I felt guilty so I thought “I should be praying for people, not cursing them!” so I prayed “Lord, have mercy on that guy.”
I felt like God gave me an instant reply, “I will. Through you. You have mercy on them, and I’ll have mercy on them through you.”
I need God to live through me. The day before that I felt convicted that I say the word “idiot” more than I say the word “alleluia”
This morning I was starting up my furnace, lighting my kerosene heater, and cranking up my heat pump, and I thought, wow. I have all this stuff to keep me warm, and all around me my neighbors are cold and on the brink of dying. How much is that a picture of reality! Even though I don’t feel alive, even though I don’t feel like I’m living the victorious Christian life that all the well-groomed preachers say I should be having, God’s life is in me in this cold weather.
So here I am, so wanting my neighbors to have the fellowship and comfort of Jesus AND the comfort of being warm. I’m limited in how much I can talk to them, and limited in how I can provide warmth, but more and more it seems like something needs to happen inside ME to do all of that.
The country is experiencing major blackouts, and power loss, and I think I have been too. Lot’s of cursing people and anger, lots of depression and pity parties, I need to run some new lines, connect back to the power plant.